A Never-Ending Midnight Sun
Admittedly, I used to be bitter about my BD. I am not going to try and make myself sound like the world’s most serene ex-wife. My BD did me dirty and I was very angry for a while. But, in the last year, I am proud to say that my bitterness is down to zero. Growth is not linear. It is hills and valleys. When it comes to our girls, I want them to have fun when they are with him. I want them to have a good experience. He needs to make sure that the time they spend with him is top quality. Otherwise, what is the point? If he is not going to take care of all their needs when they are in his care, then that means he is not interested in being a father.
And I am done with placing any level of expectation on his wife. She has shown me that she has no intention of taking care of our girls. I don’t care how she parents her own children, but I will not allow their care and wellbeing to be taken so lightly. It’s unfortunate, because I was hoping she and I could have one of those mom and new-wife relationships I see on TikTok where they’re BFFs. But, alas, that is not in the cards for us and that’s ok. She didn’t disrespect me with her lackluster care. She disrespected my daughter. I pride myself on never making the same mistake twice. So, now, I entrust the care of my girls solely on their father when they are in his household. There have been so many strikes by their father and so many apologies and promises to be better. After the last incident, I’m done, and I will stand ten toes down on that. I do not play when it comes to my girls. And, at some point, he needs to be held accountable and realize that words are no longer accepted as currency. Only actions. His words are worthless.
That is what I received from him for eleven years - words with no action behind them. And I refuse to teach our girls to accept that from anyone, even if it’s their father or myself. I expect them to hold us to the highest standard as their parents. I work every single day to make sure I am meeting them there. They deserve nothing less.
On a completely different note, I am 10000% obsessed with Jujutsu Kaisen. I’ve already finished the manga, I am caught up with the anime, and I’ve started on JJK: Modulo. Also, I am collecting everything Gojo. Don’t judge me. Observe my Gojo and Geto inspired nails.
